Huh? Fantasy
by Karmeth
Summary: The Adventures of a Red Mage, a Cleric and a Barbarian across Hammerspace and Time. Facing enemies of WTF Power and allies with a Wha? Factor of Ten Thousand...That's Huh? Fantasy.
1. I: Birth of a Something

Huh? Fantasy.  
Chapter One:

The Birth of a... Something?

Rayun the Red Mage stood firm on the craggy Mountianside though breathing heavily, he was starting to feel tired.. This battle seemed to have been going on forever.

The Dark Wizard Damien Northal had been attacking the surrounding villages in the Northwestern Valley for days, stealing Chocobos mainly.. Rayun with his friends Paul, the witty cleric, and Roberta the slightly emo Barbarian, had decided to form a party and defeat this foe...

"A party? Why Rayun that sounds delightful..." said Paul, when Rayun first suggested the idea.

"Umm... Paul I think your missing the idea here... We're-" said Rayun meekly while he glanced away too look at his prized Nintendo DS.

"We're gonna kill stuff!" yelled Roberta. "Now lets go and be back here in time for me to watch Supernatural... 'Cause if I miss Supernatural... HEADS WILL ROLL!"

Rayun, out of fright, hid behind Paul... Paul looked back at Rayun, shook his head and smiled. "Of course not Hunny! We would never do that to you..."

It was now three days later... and they had missed Supernatural.

"I am really getting sick of this! RAH!" Roberta charged at the manicial wizard.

"Why even bother... Fool? You know I am stronger than you will ever be." said Damien as he swiftly dodged her charge by flying into the air. "Your so terribly weak... I don't even need to put up a fight!"

Rayun stood watching this and mumbled. "I wish Cloud were here..."  
"Don't even thing about summoning him... remember last time?" said Paul with a tone of annoyance.

"Fangirl horde... I remember it well... It was so... horrible... One even stole _my _mage's hat!" said Rayun with a shiver.

Roberta glared at the Wizard, who was floating just afew metres away... "I will defeat you Wizard... **YOU MADE ME MISS SUPERNATURAL FOR THREE DAYS IN A ROW!!!**"

The Wizard could only gulp as the Barbarian went Berserk.. Now he certainly wasn't fast enough...

"Curses!!!" he yelled as he was chopped at with an axe, for he could do nothing about it... He had really, really low defence.

"Critical Hit!" said Roberta with a smirk as she swung her axe into his side.

"Indeed... It really was Critical.." said Damien with a moan. "Tis only a flesh wound!"

Rayun, who had been playing his DS while this was occuring got an idea.  
"Why don't we use that sealing tome!" he yelled with glee.

Saul merely blinked when Rayun pulled it out of his Magic Satchel. "You mean ceiling tile... the one that fell off of my abby's roof!"

"Same difference!" said Rayun, slightly offended. "We can use it to seal him in something... I know" He picked up a grain of sand and began to laugh.

"This will do the trick! Now you hold that while I equip the tome.."

Paul held the sand grain and sighed... "This will never... ever... work. It's a piece of rock for the God's sakes... you'll never get that tile to wark as a sealing tome..."

"We shall see..." said Rayun as he equpied the stone tile. "Now watch and be amazed.." He opened his skill menu and selected: Seal of Flames.  
"Activate Sealing Tome!" he yelled as the Tile glowed... as did the grain of sand. "Throw it at Damien!" Ray yelled at Paul.

Paul, still suprised the darn thing actually worked, threw it at Damien. Roberta had just gotten out of the way and finished her attack, leaving Damien weak...

"Huh? A Sand Grain! Ha! That will never stop me!!!" he said with a laugh... However as it neared him it formed a vortex...  
"Blast! Drat! Curses... A Sand Grain??" He then was sealed inside with a blast of flame.

"Sweet!" yelled Roberta, who picked up the grain. Before the others could say otherwise she raised her axe and slammed the grain, sending it high into the air...

"ROBERTA!" yelled both Paul and Rayun.

"Now we've lost him!!" said Rayun with a sigh. "He could be freed again now..."

"I doubt it." replied Paul. "I think she hit him clear into Outerspace... What could happen out there?"

Just then in Space..

The Grain was hurtling at an extremely fast pase and was by now nearly clear of the Solar System...

At the same time, a mysterious figure was flying through space... "Kakarotto! Where are you!!" yelled the being...

Yes, it was Broly... He was floating around out there and searching for Dragon World... Hoping to kill Goku.

It was then when the grain flew into his mouth. "Gah?" said the dimwitted Broly as he began to choke.

Inside a being of such power like Broly, the seal began to quickly wear... slowly draining Damien's energy and mind into Broly.

Shortly after this, Broly transformed into: **_Super Damien Broly!!!_**

Once the transformation was complete, D-Broly fired a blast of Ki into a nearby star causing it to colaspe... into a Wormhole..

As D-Broly entered it.. His words seemed to echo across space and time... **"Rayuotto!"**

**End of Chapter 1.**

--------------------------------------------------------------------

**Hope you've all liked it so far! Stay tuned for some more Huh? Fantasy. **

**We've got DBZ Action on the way.. and maybe a few other guest appearances. **

Adios, 

** -Karmeth.  
**


	2. II: Big Attack resulting in Time Travel

Huh? Fantasy.  
Chapter Two:

_Big Attack by the Super-Powered Bad Man resulting in Time Travel!! What will Rayun do?!_

Rayun and his friends were traveling down the Mountianside, hoping to get home before they missed yet another episode of Supernatural. However just as they were in sight of the village... Something terrible occured.

"What the Hell?!" exclaimed Rayun as he stared at the object which was hurtling towards the village from the sky.

"It's a Giant Energy Ball! It's going to toast the city... and we don't have enough MP to stop it!!" said Paul, with worry in his voice.

"Wait... Rayun bought some Ethers back at the shop... So we're saved!" said Roberta with hapiness... which when seeing the look on Rayun's face turned to worry... "You bought the Ethers right... Cause if not they're all gonna die down there.. and if they do we might as well be dead..." expecting sour news Roberta turned on her MP3 player, which was full of My Chemical Romance songs, which in her mind were perfect for this occasion..

"Heh... Well I was going to buy some... but then I realized I didn't have enough for a Hi-Elixer and left..." said Rayun sheepishly while the Energy Ball neared ever closer.

"Oh come on man! You had 9,999,999 gil! What could you have spent it in..." said an annoyed Paul.

"Well err..." Rayun paused as he remembed running with the money to the nearest Black Market Pokemart and used all the gil to buy Rare Candies... He told the man it was for his pet Charmander, Flare... but Flare didn't get a single one...

Staring off into distance, Rayun sighed. "Well damn.. We blew it, didn't we?"

"Kinda..." said Paul, as the Energy Ball slowly blew the village apart. "What could be this powerful..."

In space... Super Damien Broly was floating above Earth, laughing his brains out. "HAHAHA... I crushed the village.. Now time to gloat!"With that, Super Damien Broly teleported just above the ruins of the village. "See my power! I am undefeatable! I am Super Damien Broly!!"

Paul and Rayun merely sighed. "I guess we know where that Sand Grain went..." said Rayun, as he hung his head low.

"Yeah... So um, any ideas?" asked Paul.

"Give Goku a call on Dragon World?" suggested Rayun. "He's fought Broly before.."

Paul then reached into the MCR-Comatose Roberta's purse and grabbed her cell phone. "Use this.." said Paul, hoping she didn't notice. Paul tossed Rayun the phone, which could reach anywhere in the Universe besides Soviet Russia or so said the box it came in...

Rayun somberly dialed the number and waited. After afew rings went through he heard this chipper and upbeat sounding message.

"Hey there! You've reached the home of Goku and Chi-chi! Sorry but we're not home right now... If your a villian trying to harrass us... Please Press 1. If your in need of my help... Press 2, If your a telemarketer... NEVER CALL HERE AGAIN!!! Thanks for your call!"

Rayun sighed and pressed One. Another message played. "Oh great.. So what kind of trouble is it now... If your being attacked by a GIANT Monster... Press 1; If your being attacked by a Lesser Monster, Press 2; If, by chance and your own grave misfortune, your being attacked by Broly... Press any other number."

Rayun sighed at the message and pressed another number. The message continued. "Woah! Alright... Thats not good. I'll send one of the Z Warriors over as soon as possible, just try to stay alive. Bye!"

Rayun mumbled underneath his breath. "Stupid Answering Machines... What now?" Rayun asked.

"We could always wait and see if anyone arrives?" said Paul, who seemed optimistic.

"Pah. I doubt-" said Rayun, but he was suddenly cut off by the arrival of two Dragon World warriors.  
"Great..." said Rayun as fate had contradicted him yet again.

Trunks and Taipon stood with their swords in hand. "So where is Broly?" asked Taipon cooly. "Cause I want to have this over and done with so I can go back and rest in my music box."

Trunks nodded. "Yeah, we can like so take him.. in 30 minutes or less." said the cocky Trunks with a laugh. "I only wish my father was here to see it... Sadly Vegeta died in that Explosion at the Vegetable Cannery... Not even King Yemma could find a piece of him."

Rayun shook his head. '_These guys are batty.. Insane.. Just plain loony!_' He thought to himself as he watched the two of them rush off to attack D-Broly alone. Rayun turned to Paul. "I bet those two are going be dead within 5 minutes..."

"Now Ray... I think they might last a little longer than that..." said Paul with a sigh.

... 5 and a Half Minutes later...

Trunks and Taipon were still hacking away at D-Broly... With little effect. D-Broly had merely be laughing as they tried to kill him.  
Paul smirked. "Now who was right... Give me the gil you owe me."

Rayun blinked. "Huh? We were betting for gil?! Oh come on..."

At this very moment, while Trunks was choping fiercely at D-Broly's chest, D-Broly punched him... right through his stomach.

"AGH! GAH..." yelled Trunks in agony as he looked to see D-Broly's arm going right though his body.

Taipon stopped his attacks and jumped backwards away from D-Broly. "Oh snap!" He said with some fear notable in his voice.

He then ran back to the others. "Ok, so we were wrong... We can't beat him either. We need a new tactic!"  
"Obviously.." said Rayun with a sigh. "So shall we attempt to rush him all at once?"  
Roberta, who had now taken off her headphones and was listening, said. "Well we're going to need to attack him with something bigger than what they have or we'll all end up like that Purple haired loser."

D-Broly smirked as he charged his Ki into the arm that was impaling Trunks. It was so much Ki in fact that it began to burn the poor gravely injured Z-Fighter. "This will be an example for all those who try and stop me from killing Rayutto! Now it's off to the Other Dimention with you! HA!" said D-Broly with a laugh, as the Ki totally incinerated Trunks.

D-Broly then absorbed all the Ki that remained from Trunks and grew larger. "Now I have gone to the next stage!" he said with a sadistic glee. "I am Super Damien Broly Level 2!"

The four remaining warriors merely looked at each other and in unison said these same, all too true words.. "Oh snap."

Taipon then, in a moment of quick thinking, grabed the other three warriors and teleported a great distance away and hid his own Ki so that D-Broly couldn't track them.

"So there is one option..." said Taipon calmly, having regained his composure.

"The Dragon Balls?" asked Rayun, who expected such a plan from Taipon.

"Uh... Sure there's that too... I was going to suggest we all hide in my music box, but that's actually better!" said Taipon with a nervous laugh.  
"So how exactly are we going to get all of them so fast..." asked Paul.

"Don't you remember Paul! Rayun's pocket... in the back of his Mage's coat!" said Roberta with a smirk.

Ah yes... the Good old Portal to Hammerspace inside of his pocket which was placed just out of reach at the back of his coat, Rayun remembered it well. "Alright... Reach in and get them... Just be quick, it really violates my personal space when you do that..." he said with some reserve.

"In we go!" shouted Roberta as she shoved her hand in his pocket... Afew moments later she yelled. "I got em'! " And with that she pulled out all seven Dragon Balls.

"Ok..." said Taipon, notable distirbed. "We get two wishes... with Dende's upgrade. So let's use this wisely!"

The four of them then summoned Shenron, but made a slight mistake. Summoning instead: MC Shen.

"Yo, Yo, Yo! I'm your Rappin' Dragon of Wishes... What do you want foo'!" said the annoying dragon.

"Just great..." mumbled Rayun. "Well for our first wish we want to bring back all of the people Damien-Broly has killed... and then we want to erase him from all time!"

The Dragon nodded. "As a rapper Dragon I got no problem with bustin' up people... So here we go!"  
As he began to cast his magic, the most annoying rap music began to play... Shortly after, all of the dead were brought back.. even Trunks! However as he tried to erase D-Broly something happened...  
"He's resistin' the Power of Rap!" the Dragon yelled.

At this time, D-Broly knowing he could not hold out indefinately against the Dragon, focused all of his energy into one punch, creating a fracture in space-time which he entered into...

MC Shen frowned. "He's gone alright... But I didn't do it."

The party shrugged. "Meh, at least he's gone..." said Rayun.

"Oh! for our last wish... I want the entire Cast of Supernatural to appear at my house... caged..." said Roberta, while the other three merely stared... MC Shen complied and all was well...

The Party all went home and Rayun took Taipon's music box and placed it in his house... In case they needed him again. Paul and Roberta went to her house and watched Supernatural.. or rather the actors re-enacting scenes from the show in cages... As for Trunks, he flew back to Dragon World... to tell Goku to make sure never to answer a call from Rayun again...

But all was not as well as it seemed...

Outside of Time...

"Uug... My head hurts." said the still living D-Broly. He looked up to see he was laying in snow with a man dressed in heavy winter clothing standing before him. "Where.. am I?"  
"Da, Comrade... You safe here... This only place in Universe without Cell Phone Service.." said the Man with a Large Fur Hat with a laugh.

Yes... Broly was outside of Time... In New Soviet Russia.


	3. III: From Russia with Lard

Huh? Fantasy.  
Chapter Three:

_From Russia with Lard._

Indeed, D-Broly was in New Soviet Russia or at least a parallel dimention where it exists in secret.

Broly followed the Man with the Large Fur Hat, named Boris. "We Soviet comrades escaped normal dimention after we were defeated and foiled by certain devious American moose and squirrel..." said Boris with much bitterness.

"I see..." said D-Broly. "I want to **CRUSH **Rayutto! Aid me!! RAH!" He yelled with fury however he still followed Boris as he did so.

"No worries, Comrade Yuri and Clones of himself will aid you greatly, Da.. So feared not, we in Russia will take care of you."

They walked into the a large snow covered domed building, simmilar in style to the Kremlin. In was here where Yuri Prime dwelled and worked in his lab. He greeted D-Broly and Boris at his office door, as if he had known they were comming... "Ah yes.." Yuri hissed in his usual sinister tone. "I have been expecting you Mr. Damien Brolinovich, We have most exciting project on the workings here.. A Chrono-Matrix, which is a very complex Time Machine built by a certain Doctor..." He pointed to a set of bones. _'It's a good thing we recaptured that fool... He will never bother me again..' _

D-Broly smiled, this Yuri fellow was his kind of guy. "DEATH!!!" He yelled with... a sadistic glee.

"Yes.." said Yuri, who had by this point determined D-Broly's mind was like that of an Acorn. "And there will be more if you help us."

"How can I be of service to you..." said D-Broly, concerned with killing Rayutto alone. "I can destroy!"  
"I realize... Which is why I want a sample of your DNA, in return I will give you use of my Chronosphere.." said Yuri with a devious smirk.

"I agree!! Whatever DNA is..." said D-Broly. Meanwhile, Yuri was already gathering his needles and swiftly poked D-Broly with them.

"ACK! NEEDLE!! Damien Broly doesn't like needles..." he said with a wimper.  
"It's all over now... So go get in my Chronosphere and complete our plans for World Domination... Uh... I mean, kill Rayutto!" said Yuri with a nervous laugh, he almost ruined his own devious plot..._ 'Heh not even the fool reading the page will know my plans now! Muhahaha!!!'_ said Yuri in his mind as D-Broly got in range of the Chrono-Matrix.

... Back in the Village...

Rayun was drawing various pictures of Dragons and chewing on a Rare Candy. As he was doing so, Taipon came out of his box and looked at the drawing of an Ice Dragon then a Fire Dragon.

"Um... Ray?" he said, not wanting to out rightly offend him. "Why do you draw all your dragons alike? And from the same perspective?!"  
Without looking up Rayun replied, notably high on Rare Candy. "Ug.. Cause I want to... Now go away..."

"You can't draw them any other way can you? Always to the left and with the same kind of eyes.." said Taipon with a snicker.

This set off the deranged Rayun, who reallyed needed to cut back on Rare Candies."Hey! S-Sh-Shut up!! I like um that-t way, Leave me ALONE! G-GO AWAY..."  
Taipon, notably concerned by Rayun's reaction, glanced at the many, many Rare Candy wrappers on his desk. "My lord, are you trying to overdose on Rare Candy!? Like man, what the hell is wrong with you!"  
"H-Hey now Music Box Man, I-I can have as moony..." said Rayun with a slur. He quickly regained composure. "as many as I want! I can handle it!!"  
By this time, Taipon had already picked up the phone and called Paul and Roberta. He looked back to Rayun. "I've had it, we're calling an intervention."

Rayun merely blinked when Paul and Roberta arrived, with a another... bald man in tow.  
"Ok Rayun.. I brought over a friend of mine, He will help you get through this.." said Roberta with some worry.

"I'll do more than that..." said the Man. "I'm gonna change his life! Afterall y'all, I am Dr. Phil!"

Rayun gasped in horror, his friends had cast upon him the Bald Menance of Dr. Phil...  
"You go away Big Bad Baldy!! I'm not going to your house!!" said Rayun with fear. He had seen that show, they were all nutbars there.

"You don't have to go, We're just going to video tape you while we send you to the Gerald Ford Clinic." said Dr. Phil. "And then in afew months you will come on my new show! Dr. Phil meets Frankenstien!". Rayun was unamused by the good Doctor's Southern Style and Charm.   
"NEVAH!!" He said with a bloody scream. After this he then ran madly in a circle around Dr. Phil, waving his arms and asking for a tax rebate.

"I was hopin' it wasn't gonna have to come to this but..." Dr. Phil quickly fired a elephant gun, which swiftly took Rayun down.

His friends stood agast at Dr. Phil's seeming brutality. "Aw, No worries folks. He'll be fine in about a week." Phil said with a casual laugh.

The other's breathed a sigh of relief as Rayun was literally dragged off by Dr. Phil. Rayun however in his last moment said: "Isn't it Betty Ford."

"Oh just shut your piehole druggy." said Phil, shaking his head as he continued to drag Rayun away...

The others, fairly satisfied that Rayun would get the help he needed... went to Roberta!

"So wanna watch Supernatural!" said Roberta pointing to the cages.  
"Um... Roberta?" said Paul noticing an awful oder. "Did you forget to feed them again... cause.."  
Taipon too gaged at the smell and when he looked in one of the cages, he could only reply. "I think this one's dead."

"Wha!!" said Roberta. She ran over to the cage. "Oh no not Jeffrey Dean Morgan! Oh well.. He was only John anyways..."

Just after this discovery, the trio heard a loud and deafening noise... followed by a large flash. They looked out the window to see Rayun's house blown to ashes.  
"No way..." said Taipon, sensing the power of a familar foe.  
"But how..." said Paul, now seeing him in the distance.  
"Never mind how... It's clobberin' time!" yelled Roberta, who alreadly had her axes in hand.

The three of them burst out of the house just as D-Broly turned to face them.

"So, the maggot isn't among you... Hmm... I will have to find him later, but first I will destory you!" said D-Broly with a laugh.

"NEVAH!" said all three remaining warriors together as they raised their resepctive weapons and charged at D-Broly.

... 4 Hours Later..

The fight was lasting for sometime... It was the will and skill of the three warriors which allowed him to survive as long as they had, however... They were tiring and D-Broly was not. D-Broly waiting for a moment, he sensed they were all far too tired to continue like this so, he finally revealed his full strenght.

"No... He's just been toying with us..." said Taipon with a sigh.  
"It's... It's just not fair..." Roberta said, breathing heavily.  
Paul paused then spoke softly. "Hope isn't lost yet... Just wait and see..."

swiftly grabbed Taipon and threw him through a building, then teleported behind Paul and kicked him into Mountianside which is what the generic people actually named the side of the Mountian, called Mount. Mountian. After this he teleported to the right of Roberta and punched her repeatedly, firing a blast of Ki from his hands and knocking her out,

"So this is how it will end for you all, Hm?" said D-Broly as he swiftly flew into the air. "This time you don't get to use your Dragon Balls or Hammerspace... This time you die!!"

A voice was heard behind Broly. "Not on our watch Damien Broly..."  
D-Broly turned and gasped at the sight he saw. "Not the Almightly Morphing God-Mod Rangers!"  
Yes indeed, it was them the five Divine Rangers of The Universe.  
The Yellow, fat one yelled. "Yellow Ranger! Buddah!"  
The Blue, skinny one yelled. "Blue Ranger! Gandhi!"  
The Pink, multi-armed one yelled. "Pink Ranger! Kali!"  
The Green, multi-eyed one yelled. "Green Ranger! Xenu!"  
The Red, slightly hippie-ish one yelled. "Red Ranger! Jebus! Dude.."

Taipon, Paul and Roberta, each having recoved from the attacks enough to stand could merely watch as this new battle began...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**That's all folks!**

Hope you enjoyed it, and get ready for the 'Crash of the Titans'!

-Karmeth.


	4. IV: Crash of the Titans

Huh? Fantasy.  
Chapter Four:

_Crash of the Titans_

The Five Rangers floated in the air, glaring at the pompus Damien Broly... They had been watching his terror from the Divine Higher Plane and had grown tired of him... "

It is time, Damien Broly, Fusion of Darkness, that you be put in your place.. We of the Higher Plane will no longer sit and bide our time... Your end is now." said Xenu Green, with much anger in his voice.

"We are the force of Karma and Retribution in this universe and your sins are to be cleansed." said Buddha Yellow.  
"So then... Lets do it!" said Kali Pink with a grin.

The Five Gods swiftly attacked D-Broly from all sides and quickly over-powered him.  
D-Broly, notably shocked still that they would intervene, decided to use one of his bigger attacks.  
"D-ERASER CANNON!" yelled D-Broly, which brought much laughter from Buddha in particular.

As the blast neared him, the Yellow Ranger simply raised his hand and smiled. "Karma Twist!"  
With that a force of energy blew the blast back at D-Broly injuring him. "RAH!!" yelled the furious D-Broly.

"Grr... MAGNUS STAR!" said Broly with fury, still noticeable. Magnus Star had been an attack of Damien's which was simmilar to a Spirit Bomb. He threw his attack at Gandhi Blue, who like Buddha, laughed.

"Peaceful Intent!" he said calmly, and so he absorbed the entire attack into himself and healed various things on the planet... including Taipon, Robeta and Paul as well as Rayun, where ever he was..

Before D-Broly could attack again, Kali Pink and Xenu Green were on the move.  
"Psychiatric Power!!" yelled the strong Xenu, who called on the Powers of Psychiatry to hold D-Broly still  
"Four Blades of Ending!" yelled Kali Pink as she began to slice the paralized D-Broly with her swords.

Taipon was amazed by the Ranger's power... "They are going to defeat him! Look at their power..."  
Paul smiled. "See I told you there is always hope... The Gods will always defend us!"  
Roberta sighed. "This seems too easy... Somethings not right..."  
Taipon laughed. "Oh come now... Don't be such a party pooper! We're winning, even without Rayun!"

However it would soon be noticable that Roberta was right... For D-Broly grew enraged at these attacks and increased in power.  
He swiftly grabbed Kali by all four of her arms with his massive hands and tore them from her body, then punting what remained of her into the sun.  
"SAVE ME VISHNU!" was the words she screamed as she flew directly into the sun's core and fryed. The remaining Rangers were took aback by his sudden attack, with the weak-kneed Xenu contemplating fleeing.

"Duuude! You just killed Kali!" said Jebus Red, with notably hippy distane. "Like woah man... you just like ripped her arms off... Dude..."  
The other three nodded. D-Broly smirked as he held her arms together and melted them with his ki, making them into a sword.  
"The Arms of a Goddess are now my arms to bear... A weapon made to slay, for like will defeat like..." said D-Broly with a sinister glare. The Rangers were certainly shaken... with Xenu now set to go with his plan.. 

"Um... Uh well I think it's time I go back to nuking my people with bombs at volcanos... So I'm out, later all!" said Xenu Green as he teleported away. The remaining three rangers merely laughed. "He likes to tell tall tales..." said Buddha Yellow. "We all know his only follower goes by the name of Cruise."

Jebus, Gandhi and Buddha look at each other and smirk. "That was only the begining Damien... We have one more trick up our sleaves..." said Gandhi. With that the three of them began to glow and became energy. These energies combined into one forming the Ultimate Divine Warrior: Supergandhibuddojebus!

"I am Supergandhibuddojebus! None can defeat me! So prepare yourself Damien!" said the Uber-God. He focused and empowered the three warriors, enough so that they could fight as equals to D-Broly.  
Tapion smiled, filled with power. "Sweetness..."   
Roberta smirked, with her strength increased. "Alright!"  
"Gods be praised!" Paul said as he felt his powers augmented.

The three of them flew into the air and floated next to Supergandhibuddojebus. "Lets do this!" they yelled together.

---Meanwhile... at the Clinic.---

Rayun felt fully free of his addiction, as per the healing of Gandhi eariler. "Look... Dr. Phil, I feel so much better... I don't want for anything now but world peace... and suddenly I'm against the partision of India..."  
Dr. Phil however was less than pleased. "This my little friend is what we call... DENIAL! Are you gonna be a liar all your life! You've gotta own up to your problems!!"  
"But seriously... I really don't feel like I need one..." said Rayun with all sincerity.  
Phil however was ready to take more... desperate actions. "All right! That's enough... We're going to take you down to Room 101 and subject you to White Noise Torture... I mean Treatment... Now lets go..."  
"But I'm really fine!" said an annoyed Rayun. Phil had taken out his elephant gun again at this point and shot Rayun.  
"Argh! Why...Why wont you listen..." said Rayun as he fell asleep. Dr. Phil then dragged him off to Room 101 and left him there to be treated when he awoke...

---Back at the Battle...--- 

Paul was at work with his healing spells, for the others were being to wear in this battle... the Sword of Kali was really giving D-Broly a boost. "Curses... He's fast." said Paul as he watched Taipon and D-Broly in the middle of a sword duel. Roberta were throwing her axes at D-Broly with great effect.

Supergandhibuddojebus was firing blasts of holy energy from his palms and yelled tauntingly to D-Broly. "Seems to me your not all that powerful after all Damien Broly!" This brought the insane Demon-Sayian to his limit, he would take no more... With this, D-Broly parried Taipon's attacks and used a Ki blast to knock him away. Then he teleported behind Supergandhibuddojebus and stabbed him in the back with the Kali Sword. "Agh!" yelled Supergandhibuddojebus, feeling the pain of his mortal wound.

However, even with the sword stuck in his back, he decided he must fight onward... So the Uber-God began to pummel D-Broly with punches and kicks. "Now... it's time for my last attack. Sanctify!" said Supergandhibuddojebus as his power was being drained.  
In a brilliant flash of white light and sound both D-Broly and Supergandhibuddojebus seemed to dissapear with only the Sword remaining, slightly charred and stuck in the earth.

"He sacrificed himself to save us all..." said Roberta with a sigh. She could tell that this was certainly the end for The Uber-God.  
Paul nodded. "He saved us... For now..." He felt that the Uber-God was gone, his existance no longer.. He could feel it in his soul.  
Taipon still floated in the place where he had been battling D-Broly. "We were so close.."  
The three of them, disheartened by the loss of Supergandhibuddojebus, went home to Roberta's and watched some more Supernatural.

---Back at the Clinic...--- 

Rayun had just suffered through his time in that stupid room, his mind fragmented and he felt broken.  
"God no.." he finally felt it, the recent rampage of D-Broly. "What have I done.. If I had been there... I could have stopped him..."  
He sighed and sat on his bed... when a bright light appears before him. "Huh?" said the now confused Rayun.  
It was Supergandhibuddojebus. "I only have alittle time left before all my energy is gone... So I give you this, Hero."  
A set of Crimson Armor with Golden Trim appeared, it was covered in Dragon Scale and the helm shaped as that of the Dragon's head. "Wow..." said Rayun with awe. "Thank you... Will this be enough to defeat Damien Broly?"

"No... but it will aid you greatly.. He left a very powerful sword at the most recent battlefield.. So hero, wear this armor and escape this place... Go to your friends and tell them what I tell you... Now this armor will protect the wearer from any changes in time or otherwise, so no matter what he cannot harm you as he had. Now... Good Bye." said Supergandhibuddojebus with much pain in his voice.. His light soon left and he was gone.

Rayun smiled. He knew now that it was this being that had healed him and he was truly fine... So he put on this armor and stood at his room window. "I still have my destiny... and no one... not even Dr. Phil can stop me." Rayun then put his coat on over the armor to hide it from the eyes of those who could harm him. "So it begins... I will find you Damien Broly, this is not over.."  
With his now heightened fire magic skills the blew open the wall of his room and flew off towards the Northwestern Valley.

But where is D-Broly...

In a white, soulless void, D-Broly floated... it was here where Supergandhibuddojebus had sent them both... He was able to absorb the Uber-God, but not able to find a way to escape... But it would only be a matter of time before his Soviet friend's found him... So he waited... He bided his time and in the blight of the void let echo his growing chant... his very mantra of madness with a stark yell...   
**"RAYUTTO!!!"**

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Hey all,  
Hope you all enjoyed that, and get ready for the next installment and the Return of Rayun!!  
-Karmeth. 


	5. V: The Girl with the Golden Sword

Huh? Fantasy.  
Chapter Five:

_The Girl with the Golden Sword._

Rayun was racing back to the Northwestern Valley as fast as he could... He could feel Dr. Phil was on his heels and that D-Broly was still existant... He was running at speeds never reached before. He'd hoped to return to the other's soon, for D-Broly would, He knew that much for sure.

He stopped however at a place called: Neverpass Gorge. He assumed it meant that the lore was that he Gorge which he could see in the distance was... Unpassable. "Just great... I'm trapped here..." said a dispondent Rayun. Just then he looked over to the left of him and noticed a large neon sign which read: 'Cid and Sons Airship Travel Service'  
"Sweet! I knew a Cid had to be around here somewhere in this crazy place!" He then read the location of the place, which was 50 kilometres west of here... So he ran some more...

On a High Plateau overlooking the gorge, Rayun found the tall Spire which housed Cid and Sons Airship Travel Service.  
However... He couldn't seem to find an enterance. "Hello?" he called, hoping someone would hear him. "Is anyone here? Cause I really need an Airship..." After sometime of waiting, Rayun grew sad. He realized that if he didn't hurry D-Broly, in what ever new form he had taken since absorbing Supergandhibuddojebus, would most certainly over power his friends and destory the Village... and maybe even the World itself. "Oh come on!" He yelled. "Can't something go right! I need that Airship!!"

"Somebodys in a bad mood." said a girl who looked alot like Cassandra from Soul Caliber but without weapons or armor, who was standing behind Rayun "If you wanted to come in why didn't you just open the door." She had came through a hidden door at the Spire's base and laughed after saying this.

Rayun turned and glared at the girl. "Who the hell are you and why didn't you just let me in?"  
The girl laughed again. "Well thats no fun, plus my father is away... So I didn't expect customers. My name is Kathandra De'Corvel and no before you ask... I'm not related to Cassandra or Sopita!!!"

Rayun was still annoyed. "So yeah, I need a Airship so I can get across this stupid gorge and get to the Northwestern Valley before an insane creature called Damien Broly gets there first.. and destorys the place."  
Kathandra was suprised that one could actually have such a noble quest. "Hmm... Interesting. I'll make a deal with you, I'll let you use my father's newest and fastest Airship, Hyperion Lux if you take me with you."  
Rayun laughed. "Take you? With me? Oh come on... your not serious are you?"  
Kathandra frowned. "Yes.. I can fight! I am a level 65 Swordswoman after all! So come on, take me along... OR NO AIRSHIP!"  
Rayun sighed. He didn't have much of a choice. "Alright... You can come... but we better hurry.. Someone might be trying to follow me.."  
Kathandra walked over to the door and opened it, shaking her head. "Man, you've got lots of troubles..." She paused. "What is your name anyway, Red Mage?"  
"Rayun Kaziel, that is my name." said Rayun as he followed Kathandra into the Spire.

As they went in and the door disappeared... Another person arrived about 25 kilometres away in a large Black Hummer. The man got out of the Hummer and walked around, he looked at a footprint left in the dust and knew it to be Rayun's.

"What the hell... I'm sure my tracker said he was here a minute ago.." It was Dr. Phil. He was, as Rayun expected, searching for him. "I guess I'm going to have to send out the Terminators... They'll find him..."

Suddenly, he heard his satilite phone ringing from his Hummer. So he went over to it and answered it.  
"Hullo?" said Dr. Phil with a tone of worry.  
"Have you found Rayun yet..." said the voice on the other line, slightly annoyed.  
"No I have not, Master Yuri... But I am sending the Terminators that you gave me to find him.. I'm glad to see that you've got your cross-dimentional satilite phone working, it beats the awful range of those old cell phones."  
"Indeed... I want you to remember dear Dr. Phil that we placed you in this dimention to do our dirty work, and that if you fail... It will cost you." said Yuri, with an as sinister tone as usual. "Do you understand that?"  
"Yes, Master Yuri. I will not fail.. If he does escape over the gorge I will make sure to send the Pirates after him. So all is well." said a nervous Dr. Phil. "And tell your wife O.P.R.A.H. that I said Hello."  
"I shall... Yuri out." With that the conversation ended.

Dr. Phil sighed, for he hated tricking those friend's of Rayun's that he was there to help him... But, he had to follow orders.  
"Terminators activate!" He yelled as he pressed a button on his Hummer's dash. Then 5 T-1000's appeared next to Phil, each taking on his likeness. Dr. Phil smirked, he liked these guys. "Find Rayun... Destory." Those were his only words, and with that they 5 of them began towards the Spire.

---Back in the Spire.---  
Kathandra was in her room putting on her battle gear, all of which was simmilar to Cassandra's. "Rayun are you still in the Hanger Bay?" She yelled to him.  
And he was still there, upstairs in the Hanger. He was standing in awe of the marvelous Airship, Hyperion Lux. "Yeah..." He called back. "This ship is amazing..."  
"Yeah... it's certainly great." said Kathandra as she entered the room, now fully dressed in her armor, with her golden Alpha Sword and Lyger Shield on her back. "So are we ready to go?"  
"Uh sure. But I have to ask... How does the Airship get out? There aren't any openings here..." said Rayun puzzeled slightly.  
"Oh right... I forgot to tell you that the roof of the Spire opens up so we can just fly out that way." said Kathandra with a laugh.   
"Cool.." said Rayun, he really found Airships interesting. However, he felt the floor shake suddenly, as if something had exploded.  
"What was that?" wondered Rayun.   
"I dont know..." said Kathandra, slightly worried. "I'll go down stairs and check..."

"There is no need for you to go anywhere.." said a voice. "You are aiding, Rayun Kaziel... Fugitive. You will be Terminated."  
It was then that 5 streams of Liquid Metal poured down the walls and across the floor, they formed into the 6 Terminators, who looked like Dr. Phil.  
"Dr. Phil?!" asked a very confused Rayun. "What the hell are you doing?"  
"No... It's not Dr. Phil, they are Terminators... I've seen afew around here lately.. They raided a nearby village for someone and stole all the gil there." said Kathandra as she pulled out her sword, which pulsed with electricity. "Good thing Dad adding an Electomagnetic Attachment to my Sword."  
Rayun tossed off his Mage's coat, revealing his armor. "Let's dance Robo-Rejects!"The Terminators formed large metal spikes where their hands were and charged at Rayun and Kathandra.  
Kathandra swiftly got rid of one, by ducking under it's inital charge, slipping under it's legs and stabbing it in the back of the head. Her sword's electromagnet kicked it and fryed the Terminator.

Rayun glanced at this and smirked. _'Seems easy enough...' _He thought. So he rushed at one of the Terminators and began pummeling it with Fire 1 Blasts. However, the Blasts were avoided with ease, once it opened a hole in itself and let the blast pass on by. "Maybe not so easy after all..." He paused and thought back to the movie Terminator 2... They killed them some how... He smirked. "Hey you!" The Terminator turned and started to strike at Rayun with his Spike, when Rayun yelled. "Summon Lava Golem!"  
The Terminator blinked as a Giant Lava Golem appeared behind him and gave him a big hug, roasting him alive.  
"Me like Hugs!" yelled the Golem. "Good..." said Rayun. "Give all the Dr. Phils some big hugs." The Golem nodded and began to kill the Terminators... with some difficult.

Rayun turned to Kathandra. "Lets go.. The Golem wont kill them all, but it should be enough for us to escape.."  
Kathandra nodded. "Agreed... I just hope Dad doesn't mind the mess.." She then grabbed his arm and they ran towards the Hyperion and swiftly got in it via the main hatch.

"Alright, Rayun. You go down the hall from here and turn left, and enter the door marked: Turret Control. It obviously controls the Ship's system of Turrets and Cannons. I want you to be ready to attack anything if nesscarry, I'm going to the Main Hub so I can activate the Roof Opening Sequence and then fly this baby out of here. Alright?" said Kathandra.

Rayun nodded. "I got it." He ran down to the Turret Room, as Kathandra had told him to do. It was a fairly dull room with a large series of panels and switches, as well there was a Steering Wheel-like device which turned the turrets and had the 'FIRE' button as well. As well there was a viewing screen which was currently turned off.  
He found the lever which said: Activate Turrets. He pulled it and the Viewing Screen turned on, which showed a view of the outside, as well as a tactical map. "Sweet.." said Rayun. The Ship's Computer suddenly chimed in. "Welcome, Rayun. I am Hyperiona, AI for the Hyperion Lux. This ship has over 75 turrets and cannons which are all at your disposal. If you need anything, just ask me."  
Rayun smiled. This ship really was something. "Alright, I'll keep note of that."

In The Main Hub, Kathandra was activating the command to open the Spire's roof. She smiled. "I can't believe I'm actually going on an adventure... I just hope Dad doesn't get too mad." Suddenly an alert when off and Hyperiona spoke. "Kathandra, the Golem has seemed to have wandered off... As well the Metalic being has absorbed the remains of the others and grew larger.. I fear he may be carrying weapons."  
Kathandra sighed. The Terminator changed from looking like Dr. Phil so the Golem left... She knew something like that was going to happen. "Alright then... The roof is only half the way open but... It will have to do. Hyperiona, tell Rayun that he needs to fire on the Roof Pannels because we can't wait any longer..."

Hyperiona carried this message to Rayun. "Just great, so I've got a crazy Demon-Sayjin, a Bald Nutcase of a Doctor AND now a Super-Terminator after me... Just wonderful..." He then grabbed hold of the controls and spotted the Super-Terminator, He looked alittle like Dr. Phill still, but three times his size, it's left arm was a Machine Gun and his right arm was a Large Blade, as well his Right Eye glowed Red. "Holy Mother of Grey Goo." shouted Rayun as he turned to aim at the roof. A quick succession of blasts destroyed the roof and he then turned his sights back to the Super-Terminator, who was now charging at the Airship. "Aw nuts!" yelled Rayun as he began to pump turret shells into the Machine, however it only slowed it down... Rayun changed his ammo to Energy-based and continued to fire.

Back in the Hub, Kathandra was preparing to launch. "Damn it... I hope Rayun can keep that thing busy long enough for us to get out of here... God, Dad is gonna kill me... This Super-Terminator is going to leave such a mess..." She sighed and completed the lanch sequence.

Rayun smiled as the Airship began to take off... However he noticed that the Super-Terminator was trying to follow..  
"Curses... It's trying to latch onto the Ship!" Indeed, the Super-Terminator was shooting metalic grappeling hooks from it's chest, trying to catch a ride. Rayun was able to hold them off as the Ship cleared the remains of the roof.. He noticed there were some other airships still in the hanger. It was then get got a plan... As soon as the Ship was alittle farther away, Rayun locked all of the Turrets onto these other ships. "Cid might not like this.. But the fuel those ships might be our only chance." The Super-Terminator had by now climbed up on to on of the Non-Colasped Parts of the roof and was firing at the ship, however this placed it directly in the path of Rayun's shot...   
"Kathandra.. I hope you forgive me for this, but I don't have many options" said Rayun into the ship's intercomm as he prepared to fire on the other airships. "So I think it's time you put the petal to the metal!"

Just as Rayun was pressing the FIRE button, The Super-Terminator fired another grappeling hook which nearly connected to the ship when... the giant blast came from the combined force of all the turrets, this collided with the Super-Terminator and carried him into the remaining Airships, creating a Giant explosion. Luckly, Kathandra was able to place the ship at max speed capacity, which saved their lives from certain death, leaving the ship with only minor exterior burns.

"Dad is going to be so mad..." said Kathandra with a sigh as she watched the entire Spire collaspe in flames. "But at least we survived."  
Rayun found his way to the Main Hub after placing the Turrets under Hyperiona's control. "That was close..." He said with a nervous laugh.  
"Yeah, just a tad bit there... So do you expect anymore of your enemies to come attack us anytime soon" laughed Kathandra sarcastically.  
"Yes." Rayun said with all seriousness. "Then we better be ready then." said Kathandra with a smile. "Indeed..." said Rayun, who was still wondering about who sent these Terminators after him and... why?

Meanwhile...

Dr. Phil was sitting in his Hummer, having seen the Spire colaspe from a distance and as well as an Airship escape just in time.  
"So he was there... and he most likely escaped on that Airship..." He sighed and picked up his phone.  
"Hello... Cervantes, it seems I will need you afterall. Accemble your Pirates and Steal yourselves an Airship, then head towards Neverpass Gorge. Board and Destory every Airship you find there, Alright y'all. Dr. Phil, Out." Phil then shut off his phone. He then sat back in his Hummer. "They will certainly kill Rayun... and then Yuri wont kill me..." He smiled with glee for a moment...

However he soon heard a deep booming voice. "I LOVE HUGS!" It was the Lava Golem... Seeing it left the Super-Terminator eariler, it had been searching for the REAL Dr. Phil. "HUG PHIL!" The Golem shouted.

"What the Hell!" yelled Dr. Phil as he swiftly started his Hummer. The Golem was nearly to him when he began to drive off at around 100km/h. The Golem still followed however... "I LOVE PHIL!!" screamed the loving Lava Golem as they both charged off into the Sunset...

Sadly, However.. Things were not meant to be at peace for long... for back at the Ruins of the Spire...  
Liquid Metal was splattered everywhere... it was an awful mess indeed and it was all mixed in with damaged Airship parts and other mechanical things, some of which was on fire... but it seems that the Metal began to pool together and out from it formed a head... The Super-Terminator's head... It opened it's eyes again and frowned. As it's body slowly began to reform, it scanned for Rayun and Kathandra..  
On it's Scouter like internal system, the words 'MISSION INCOMPLETE... TERMINATE RAYUN KAZIEL. ACTION?.. SEEK AND DESTROY.'

So then out of the flames and ash arose the Super-Terminator, it opened a Portal to the Sovietspace, for it now sensed the Soviet's had created several updates for his systems... but once this was completed... He would resume his mission.  
"Rayun Kaziel..." said The Super-Terminator before it entered the Portal. "I'll be back..."

* * *

**  
Hey all!  
**

** Hope you all enjoyed that Chapter! Keep on reading!  
-Karmeth.**


	6. VI: Octopirate

Huh? Fantasy._  
__Chapter Six:_

_Octopirate.  
_

The Hyperion Lux was still traveling swiftly over the gorge, which seemed to be going on forever... Rayun was sitting in the main Hub, keeping watch. He was able to send a message to Taipon, telling of his current predicament and such. Taipon was supposed to arrive via teleportation any moment now...

Kathandra walked into the Hub and yawned, she had been asleep in her room and decided to get up to greet their guest.  
"Well... Is that Tapioca guy supposed to be here soon? Cause I better not have gotten up for nothing..."  
Rayun sighed. "Yes... He should be here any moment-" Suddenly there was a great flash of light, and Taipon appeared.  
"Now.." said Rayun, seeing that the universe had yet again foiled his sentence...

"Hey there Ray, nice to see that your sobered up... That Supergandhibuddojebus does wonders..." said Taipon, snidely  
Kathandra laughed at this, Rayun had told her the whole story... "Well I suppose even dragon-loving, whiny little 'hero's' need help sometimes.." It was then that it happened, Kathandra and Taipon glanced into each others eyes and instaniously fell in love, after all what was more attractive then a biting sense of humor?

Rayun noticed this, along with the sudden influx of giant floating red hearts that filled the Hub.He rolled his eyes with much disgust. "Just marvelous... I'd rather be killed by the Terminators or blown apart by fifteen Brolys then have to deal with some face-sucking, love-sick, putrid lovely lovey-dovey lovers!"  
The other two looked at him and blinked, speaking in a far off tone and in unison to boot. "Huh?" They both said, too encapsulated in each others beauty.

Rayun, being the pesimistic kill-joy, loner that he is, quickly decided they needed to get down to serious bussiness of defending the world from their growing list of various enemies.. "Alright you two, you just met... can we please leave the loveness until at least afew weeks... Besides we need to come up with a plan! Damien Broly will be back soon and Roberta and Paul can't defend the home front alone.."

Taipon nodded, staring off into space. "Yeah, Yeah... In a minute."  
Rayun grumbled at their lack of responcibility and such, plus one of those acursed hearts floated down and smacked him in the head.. "Hyperiona..." He said with much annoyance. "Could you please eject these stupid hearts from the ship?"

"Aye, Rayun." said the AI, chipperly. With that all of the hearts were sucked out of the room and shot outside of the ship...

However, in another ship some distance away, a band of Pirates were watching this.  
"Yar! Hearts commin' outta da ship? What a lot of pansies!" yelled Captian Feathersword.  
Their leader, Cervantes, scoffed at this responce "And thats comming from you, you fool... Captian Hook, what is the aproximate time till we are in range to board the Hyperion Lux?"  
Capt. Hook laughed. "We're five ticks of a croc's belly away! Meaning about 10 kilometres."  
Cervantes sighed. "How did I get stuck with such idiots... I mean I am the King of All Pirates!"

Cervantes then shuddered at his choice of words, for he knew who would come at the sound of them...  
"I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" yelled the annoying Monkey. D Luff. "Whee! I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"  
Cervantes's right eye twitched. "Curses... Why did Dr. Phil insist I hire you?"  
"Cause he knows... I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!" chipperly screamed Monkey D. Luff.  
"LeChuck!" yelled Cervantes. "Come and grab this urchin and take him from my sight!"  
The Ghost Zombie Demon Pirate Lord LeChuck yelled from below the deck.  
"Yar! You monkey brained fool D. Luff, come down here and guard Cid while I grab some grub!"  
Monkey D. Luff smiled happily. "Sure, cause guarding Cid will be the first step to becoming King of-"  
"Don't even say it!!!" yelled Cervantes, which caused Monkey to scurry away.

"Soon.." said Cervantes in a truly evil aside. "Soon I will defeat the enemies of my Soviet masters and gain back Soul Edge!"  
The janitor of the ship was listening to this and who happened to be Nightmare yelled. "Soooouls!"  
"Yes Nightmare..." said Cervantes. "Souls."

Back on the Hyperion, Rayun was sitting at the head of the table in the ship's War Room, he watched disgustedly as the other two gave each other puppy dog eyes of love.. He slammed his fist on the table which snapped them back into reality.  
"So, there is the bussiness of the Super-Terminator and Damien Broly... as well as Dr. Phil. How are they all connected..." said Rayun, deep in thought.

"Pfft, I bet it's all a concidence!" said the now annoyed Taipon. "Or maybe it's all a big conspiricy!"  
Kathandra laughed, equally annoyed. "Yeah.. maybe the Soviet Union are behind it!"   
The pair laughed, everyone knew the Soviet Union colapsed under the Leadership of Chairman Super-Mecha Space Gorbachevzilla.

"Now thats just silly... Chairman Super-Mecha Space Gorbachevzilla is too busy attacking Tokyo and battling Aquaman to revive the Soviet Union!" said Rayun ruefully. "Now lets be serious and think... Who could be doing all of this..."  
"Could it be O.P.R.A.H?" pondered Taipon.  
"Ooo.. Good suggestion!" said Kathandra, with love lacing her words.  
"Oh come on, she's only a myth! Bigfoot would be more likely..."

Just then Hyperiona chimed in. "Captian Kathandra! Your father's airship is approching... But something is odd, he hasn't hailed us as of yet... and I am detecting some lifeforms of the scum-ish variety on board.."  
"Scum?" said Kathandra. "Only one man is true scum... Cervantes De Lyon!"  
"The famed Pirate and weilder of Soul Edge?" asked Rayun.  
"The very same... He must have captured my father and taken his ship! Well that is something we can't allow!" 

Suddenly at the thought of meeting her father, both Rayun and Tapion became nervous.  
_'Oh man... We haven't even gone on a date yet and I'm going to meet her father... I hope he likes me enough not to kill me.' _thought Taipon.  
_'Oh man... We haven't even got a chance to explain the whole Super-Terminator incident... I just hope he didn't like his Spire that much...'_ thought Rayun.  
_'Ditto Rayun.' _thought Kathandra.  
"Hey!" yelled Rayun. "No reading my thought bubbles!"  
"Uh.. Sorry." said Kathandra sheepishly.  
_'Oh man... Was she reading my thoughts too?' _pondered Taipon.  
"Yes." responded Kathandra bluntly.

In the lower hold of the Pirates ship, inside a makeshift jail cell, Cid sat along with his sons, Ced and Cyd.

Cid sighed. "Man, I by now I thought the League of United Cids and Moogle Union Group LUC-MUG would have tried to contact the Pirates and bargain for our release..."  
Cyd laughed. "Well thats Unions for ya..."  
Ced nodded. "Indeed, build afew airships, pay your Union dues and this is what ya get."  
**"OBJECTION!" **screamed a voice from another ajcent cell. "Unions help the Workers!" It was Phenoix Wright.  
"Communist Dog!" yelled Cid, Ced and Cyd in unison. 

All of them then shuddered as they heard a voice in the distance. "I'm!" sang Monkey D. Luff. "gonna be king of the pirates! Oh I'm gonna be King of the Pirates! Oh I'm gonna be King of the Pirates! Oh nobody else but me!"  
Cid sighed then turned to his sons. "I've gotta plan.."  
As the annoying little twerp of a monkey came nearer, Cyd yelled. "Hey come here and tell me how your gonna become..."  
Cyd didn't even need to finish before D. Luff ran over and began jabbering on. In that amount of time, Ced was able to grab the keys to the cell from him without him noticing... as well Cid was able to steal his sword, which he then jabbed into D Luff's juglar. 

"Gah, I guess this means..." said Monkey D. Luff as he died. "I'm gonna be come King of the Ghost Pirates! Ugh. XX"  
**"OBJECTION!" **yelled Phenoix Wright again.. "LeChuck is King of the Ghost Pirates.."  
"Oh be quiet you stupid loudmouth or your gonna get us caught!" said Cyd. Cid then unlocked the cage and the three of them exited it. They began to search for a place to hide when Mr. Wright called out to them.  
"**OBJECTION!** You can't just leave me here, Afterall I am the magnificent Phenoix Wright, Ace Attorney!"  
"Well you know what, we can!" laughed Cid.  
"So object your way out of that, moron!" said Ced, with a snicker from Cyd.  
"Ob... Objection?" wimpered the powerless lawyer.

So then the three of them were preparing to storm the main deck when the heard a sound from above.   
"Prepare the Boarding Ram!" yelled Cervantes.  
"Is it a Pink Boarding Ram?" asked Capt. Feathersword.  
"No you raving twit! It's a Boarding Ram... of DOOM!" yelled LeChuck.  
"God, you people yell louder than the tick-tock of a clock in the belly of a croc!" said Capt. Hook.  
Cervantes sighed. "Just fire the acursed Ram.."  
Nightmare, being one of the few compotent people on the crew prepared to do so. "Souls?"  
"Yes, Fire the Ram..." said Cervantes, with a rolling of his eyes.  
"SOULS!" bellowed Nightmare as he fired the Ram.  
"Hmph... At least he does the work.." said a very annoyed Cervantes.

On the Hyperion, Rayun was again keeping watch. This time because Taipon and Kathandra had run off somewhere... Doing god knows what. "Why is it that I'm always the one keeping watch..." said Rayun.  
As he was speaking, Hyperiona yelled a message through out the ship. "Incomming Large Pink Tublar Object of DOOM, Impact in 5 seconds."  
"Just peachy, it must be a Boarding Ram..." said Rayun, with yet another sigh.  
He then felt the ominous jolt of the collision. Soon after this Taipon and Kathandra came back, with a scarf tightly wound around Taipon's neck. Rayun sighed again. "Look, I'm not even gonna ask, we have bigger problems on our hands!"

"Yar! That ye do!" yelled Captians Hook and Feathersword as they bashed down the main door to the Hub. "We've come to pillage ye fools blind and steal what we can!"  
Cervantes and LeChuck walked in after them. "Ha! I knew we would find ye, weaklings!" said LeChuck.  
"Now... Rayun, Kathandra and Man with scarf, I order you to surender all you do own and allow yourselves to be taken prisoner!"

"Um... How about no?" said Rayun as he powered his aura.  
"Well... at least they asked nicely first." said Kathandra with a laugh as she pulled out her sword.  
"Man with Scarf!? I am Taipon, your worst nightmare!" said Taipon, who was quite insulted, as he drew his weapon.

The three of the swiftly rushed the Pirates, with Feathersword running for his life before the clash even began.  
Taipon dueled Hook with all of his might. They were fairly evenly matched, with Hook growing over confident...

"Har! You fight like my granny!" jested Hook.  
"Then you've got one kick-ass granny." said Taipon as he severed Hook's hooked hand.  
"Blarg! Me hand!" yelled Hook.  
Taipon then proceeded to punch him in the face and knock him out.

Kathandra went to batlle Nightmare, who had came after all the other pirates.  
"SOULS!" yelled Nightmare.  
"What? Souls?" said a puzzled Kathandra.  
"Yesss... SOULS!" yelled Nightmare once more.  
"Oh! Souls... Well there is a big horde of souls behind you.. Look!" Kathandra said with a smirk.  
"Ooo... Souls! Huh... Me sees no souls?!" barked a confused Nightmare.  
Seeing Nightmare was distracted, Kathandra powered her sword fully and sliced his upper half from his lower. This caused his upper body to fall forward and smack into the ground, which made him yell. "SOULS?!?"

Meanwhile, Rayun was beating both Cervantes and LeChuck with ease, thanks to his armor.  
"Yawn... You guys are boring..." said Rayun, who was simply batting away their attacks.  
"Err... This can't be. I'M CERVANTES FOR CHRIST SAKE!" yelled the angry Pirate King.  
Le Chuck, deciding it was time to cut his losses said. "Well... It's time I take my exit and hope that I can find more work... I heard Lucasarts has a few positions open." He then ran and jumped out of a hatch and fell into the Gorge.  
"CRUD!" He yelled as he fell.  
Cervantes continued to duel Rayun. However, Rayun fully charged his powers and shatter Cervantes Soul Edge-based sword.   
"Oh come on!" yelled the disheartened Pirate. "What else can go wrong today..." 

With that, Cid, Ced and Cyd appeared. "Kathandra! Why are you here... and who are these people... I mean the non-pirate people.."  
Kathandra then took her father aside and explained everything...  
"WHAT! My Spire!... OF COURSE I'M MAD ABOUT THE MESS... You like that Scarf-wearing pansy?!" yelled Cid.  
"Um... sir, I'm not a pansy..." said Taipon meekly.  
"Well, you did live in a music box, man..." said Rayun with a laugh, as he was still beating around Cervantes.

Cid paused then spoke again. "Well... Seeing they have such a noble quest, and that you battled so well... you can keep the ship and such." He then grabed Taipon by the throat. "But if YOU dare lay a hand on my daughter, I will pull out your eyes!"  
"Yes sir..." said a very afraid Taipon.

Rayun then sighed. "Well I think I beat Cervantes..." Cervantes was out cold on the floor.  
Cyd smiled. "I know just what to do with him too..."  
Cid and Ced lauged as he explained the plan...

------ SEVERAL HOURS LATER ------

Cervantes awoke... it was damp where ever he was and there were bars. He looked around and realized he and his crew were locked in the cells aboard Cid's ship.  
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SALTY!" He yelled. "Why does this always happen to me... I'm only trying to make a living!"  
**"OBJECTION!"** yelled the new jail guard, Pheniox Wright. "You want Soul Edge not a living!"  
"Grr..." said Cervantes as his eye twitched. "Why me..."  
**"OBJECTION! OBJECTION! OBJECTION!"** yelled the stupid lawyer...

For Cervantes, it was going to be a long trip...

------ In the Soviet-verse ------

Yuri was watching all of this unfold, he was fairly annoyed.  
"Curses... Rayun and his party are advancing ahead of the ploted time period... BORIS! Go to the Portal and go find D-Broly... He will be needed sooner than expected.. "


	7. VII: All in The Soviet

Huh? Fantasy._  
__Chapter Seven:_

_All in the Soviet._

_Last Time...  
_Yuri was watching all of this unfold, he was fairly annoyed.  
"Curses... Rayun and his party are advancing ahead of the ploted time period... BORIS! Go to the Portal and go find D-Broly... He will be needed sooner than expected.. "

_And now..._  
Yuri, was sitting in his black revolving egg-shaped chair while tapping a pencil on his desk, he was still annoyed, as per Boris had yet to appear. "Oh come on... It's not like there is a Sporadic Ceremonial Soviet Victory in Battle Parade of Victory going on outside. Comarade Boris is just being what they call in the West, a lazy donkey's rectum!"

He then looked outside and sighed. "Curse our lack of working internal communications systems..."  
There was really a Sporadic Ceremonial Soviet Victory in Battle Parade of Victory going on outside.  
"What in da Capitalist Hell?! Does no comrade ever warn me of such these things... I should collectivize these partygoers... Then the Government would have full control of such a things." He then spun around in his chair out of bordom.

Sometime later after he had started to fall asleep, Yuri heard loud footsteps approaching his door, and then a louder bang.  
It was Damien Broly, he was clearly dressed bizarrely, like if Mardi Gras got hit with a Russia Nuclear Submarine, but that was fairly normal for the time of Sporadic Ceremonial Soviet Victory in Battle Parades of Victory...   
"Welcome, Comrade Damien Brolinovich..." He said, even more annoyed. D-Broly had forgotten to use the door when entering the office. "I have a job for you..." 

"YES! SWEET! FINALLY! WOOO!" said D-Broly, who was all geared up to defeat some Rayun and destroy the world.  
"Well." said Yuri with a smirk. "It is finally nice to be seeing a Comrade who is ready to serve the causes of Mother Russia so joyfully!"  
D-Broly nodded. "OH YEAH! LIKE **SOVIETTO **ALL THE WAY! DEATH TO **CAPITALISTOTTO**!"   
Yuri's smirk grew. "So are you ready comrade to show your loyalites and fully serve the great, honorable, amazing cause which truly does, as they say in the West... Rule?"  
"Yeah... DESTROY!!!" yelled D-Broly, who was yelling and raving too much to notice Yuri sneak away to grab afew things.

"Yes, destroy... Dirt and Grime! For the Soviet Union!" said Yuri, nearly laughing.  
"Huh?!?" said a truly **dumb**founded D-Broly, as Yuri handed him a broom and mop. "But you said..."  
"I say nothing!" yelled Yuri. "Now go you shall and clean the Nuclear Reactors all across the land, for the glory of the Motherland!"  
"But..." snivled D-Broly. "Thats all you called me for?"

"Dah. You only being in all of Soviet Russia who can clean inside of Reactor while it be still doing the running and the powering of the Glorious Lands of the Soviets! Plus, I and the woman-like unit to which I am married to do need the power to that we can watch the show those call in the West, Supernatural. It is her favorite for it truly shows the great abuses of Captialism and of how they plot against our plans of an army of ze ghosts!"

D-Broly sighed, bitterly. "Then can I go defeat the puny little RayunOTTO?" He then thought for a moment. "Ghost Army?"  
"Dah, you can... and I haven't not been unsaying the nothing of such a non-existant, no secret of non-topness of an un-project about an un-army not of non-ghosts neither of unghostly not non-unbeings which didn't nor do not exist, none at all. **Shut up**." said a shifty eyed Yuri.. "After that is completed in all completeness... you can... complete my list of the shopping. And if you forget milk, I kill."  
D-Broly furrowed his brow. "So... after I do all that, can I go defeat them." 

"Sure... but if you forget the Milk..." said Yuri as the lights dimmed with an sense of evil and DOOM.  
"You kill... Alrighty then, I will DESTROY this dirt and DESTROY your list... and DOUBLE DESTROY your milk then I will **DESTROY RAYUNOTTO**!!" said D-Broly as he walked towards the hole in the wall that had been a door... However, he slightly missed in and fell out Yuri's large glass office window.

Yuri then sat back in his chair and all was well... He closed his eyes and began to rest... Suddenly there was a knock at his wall, seeing he didn't have a door anymore. "Comrade Yuri." said Boris. "You have the visitors from the _Honorable Victory of Socialism and the Victorious Love of Lenin the Victor's Victoriable Dreams of Victory for the Victorious Victory of the Honorable and yet Victorious Soviet State of Venerable Victorious Victors Academy for Victory's _Grade V Class." _Yep that's HVSVLLVVDVVVHVSSVVVAV  
_Boris then fainted, out of a lack of oxygen, and crashed to the floor with a thud. 

Yuri mumbled under his breath about how he forgot he promised Mr. Benito Mussolini the Cowardly Fasicist Dog-Pig-Beast-Man that he would take his Grade V out on a tour of the city of New Gnottast. Petrleninstalogradzaburger, seeing they were here now he though the Sporadic Ceremonial Soviet Victory in Battle Parade of Victory must have been over, seeing all but him and his aides were forced to attend, or else...  
He sighed. "Bring in our lovely future war corpses, workers and harbringers of the Soviet way..."

In realizing that Boris was still on the floor he yelled louder. "COMRADE BORIS GET UP SWIFTLY OR ELSE YOU'LL BE PURGED BLOODLY WITH THE REMAINDER OF THE UNPRODUCTIVE CAPITALIZING DIRT THAT FILLS THE SEWERS AND THE GALLOWS!"  
With this, Boris jumped to his feet and ran to get the children.

Yuri chuckled. "That works always like... what those in the West call, 'charm' Yesss... it really does."

With that fifteen little Soviet children piled into the broken officespace, with their teacher, Mr. Benito Mussolini the Cowardly Fasicist Dog-Pig-Beast-Man, not to far behind. "SAY HEIL CLASS TO NICE MR. LESSER SLAVIC COMMANDER OF FOOLS, YURI WHO DOES OBSTRUCT THE BUILDING OF MY GLORIOUS REBUILDING OF MY REINVENTION OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE!" yelled the very loud Mussolini.  
Yuri merely glared and the children pelted their teacher with rocks. "Da, Glorious Comrade Yuri!" said the loyal Soviet Children. 

"To Jupiter above, I do hate these children of the workers and their foolish communism... It almost makes me wish the Russian's didn't find me in Switzerland and force me to teach Elementary School again..." mumbled Mussolini loudly. Loud enough infact for the children to hear, which caused them to pelt him with stones again, seeing they had been told to do so, as every class that had Mussolini had done since his capture. "Curse you all..." he said with a glare.

Yuri merely laughed at all this. "So good Soviet Children, what is it that you want to be going to be seeing first like?"  
The children all raised their little grubby hands and yelled, though not nearly as loud as Mussolini even grumbled.

"Oh! Oh! I want to visit the Victorious Workers Working Towards Victory Factory of Victoriousness!" said one.  
"Nah! Lets go see the Lenin in a Victory Tube 3D Megamovie of Victory and get Popped Victorycorn with extra Victory Sauce at Soviet IMAX!" yelled another.  
"No way! Lets go to the Communist's for Absolute Victory's Exibit on the History of Communist Victory in all our Victorious Years of Astounding Victory at Russian Victory Square! There's even a free ride on the Victorycoaster!"

Yuri chuckled, the children actually thought their vote counted.

_'What a novel concept...' _Yuri thought._ 'That doesn't even happen in a Capitalist system! Only children can be so naive...'  
_ He then motioned for them to pipe down. "Well how about we first go to the Worker's Victorium. There I can be's telling you all about Victorious Soviet Nation and How we victoriously overcame a lack of victory!"  
The Children all cheered minus One. "It's all lies and propaganda... can't any of you see that! Fools!" yelled the girl.  
Her name was Ann Archist. The other children soon picked up rocks and threw them at the defiant little whelp, much to Yuri's glee.  
"Off to the Victorium it is being!" He said with a victorious kind of joy as the left his office and the Neo-Kremlin the building's name...

This happiness soon ended for Yuri, he looked at his watch and saw it was nearly two o'clock... and it was Thursday. Which could mean only one thing... "KINDERLINGS! DUCK UNDER SOMETHING!! IT'S ABOUT TO BE... RAINING!" yelled Mussolini.  
Yes, for you see rain only comes once a day in the Sovietverse and with each rain falls not water, but a different music provking hat!!! Oh yes, truly evil indeed, Musical Damn Hats.   
"Seeing today is being the Thursday, it will rain Mexican. Curse my luck..." muttered Yuri as he watched the hats decend like burning planes on Pearl Harbour...  
Some of the Students and many other peoples were stuck outside and thus struck by the music-provking hats... Which made them sing aloud, badly and in unision, as well as dance... The Mexican Hat Dance...  
"I dance, I dance, I dance around the Mexican Hats!

I dance, I dance, I dance around the Mexican Hats!  
La La La La La La La La La...  
La La La La La La La La La...  
La La La La La La La La La...

La La La La La La La La LA!  
I dance, I dance..."

Mussolini sighed and looked to Yuri, who nodded in reply. "Alright Children, the rain is doing the stopping, leave all of those of the friend-like kind who are singing, the De-Mexicanization Crews will come and... reformat them later, as for us... ON to the Victorium!"

With that Yuri, Mussolini and the remainder of the class went on to the Victorium...

"Now you be looking, students... Here is the Victorium Exibit on Absolute Soviet Victory over cold, remorseful state of Canada!

As the one who name was being Voltaire said: "Canada, a country covered with snows and ices eight months of the year, inhabited by barbarians, bears and beavers." Thus we invaded the Canadas and created Soviet Canuckistan! Which is so much like the cold and remorseful Motherland, dear children! Thus we had to unite our lands and allow for the united powers of our Barbarians and Bears to dominate Non-Soviet World! Besides... I have a thing for the animal called Beaver." said Yuri with pride as he stood along side the main exibit.

The children cheered with much joy. "Hail the Motherland! Hail Soviet Canuckistan!" They yelled.  
Yuri smiled as he moved to the next exibit. "Ah!" He said with some excitement. "Here is exibit describing the Work of Comrade Doctor Strange and his research in to the resurection of those of the being dead into the state of ghostly hauntiness!"  
The children cheered again. "Hail Comrade Strange! Hail Ghost Army!"

Yuri then walked over to another exibit. "And now for the Exibit on Religions of Glory in Soviet World! Now you see in Lands of Soviet Peoples we are free to worship three things and ONLY Three things: All Leaders of Soviet Russia, Darth Vader and The Flying Spaghetti Monster with his Divine following of Pirates... as well as nominally worshiping Richard Dawkins, though he's more like what those in the West call a Saint. For you see, they each repersent what we truly believe and love!"  
The Children nodded. "Hail Soviet Leaders! Hail the Dark Side! Hail Creator of the Tree, the Mountian and Midgit, Praise his noodly appendage!"

Yuri smiled. "Well children that is all the time for the tour, We had a wonderful time, no? Now, leave this building orderly and with much pride... BEFORE I PURGE YOU!" With this all of the children ran away, including Mussolini.  
Yuri chuckled and walked out of the building, heading towards Valkarlov's. Valkarlov's was by far his most favorite of bars and was only place in all Soviet Russia where two things occured: A) Having his favorite drink and B) The Only Place where his wife didn't have phone number.

He came and sat down on the dusty red bar stool. "Dah Comrade Valkarlov! Unto me you will be bringing my regular!"  
The scruffy bartender chuckled and said with a gruff voice. "Thats one Beige Transgendered Bastard American Light Lager

comming right up, Comrade." The other barflys laughed at Yuri for drinking such a drink woth such a name. "What!" He yelled, annoyed from his day's toil. "It's made from the blood of capitalists and the poisonious super-estrogen of Rosie O'Donnell! Who here is man enough to dare such a drink!"  
The men all shut up and continued to drink their Ferrell Nuclear Russian Imperial Stouts.

Within 50 Minutes and 25 Rounds, Yuri was certainly drunk, though slightly less drunk than the Irishman sitting next to him.  
"And I was be saying t-to the Comrade... Your stupid!" said Yuri, clearly intoxicated.  
"Ah shud up ya ugly face! Tehedade!" said the Irishman, who muttered something in True Irish Gailic.  
"What did you said about my wife-like unit!?" yelled Yuri in return.  
"I told her to shud up her ugly face too! Moron! Baha!" yelled the Irishman, now having a few Leprechauns with pool sticks backing him up...  
"Oh is that be s-s-So?" said Yuri, who stood utterly alone..  
"Yesh! Hide-loi-maloy-de-he-be-ski-ree..." The Latter meaning 'Stupid Russian Snowman who can't hold his Lager!' in True Gailic.  
"Well then you are leaving m-me no choice!" yelled Yuri, as he rushed the Irish folk.

Five Minutes and Thirty-Three blows to the head later, Yuri was laying on the ground being pummeled with broken poolsticks by the blasted Leprechauns. However... The Lights in the bar began to flicker and Thunder sounded in the skies... Lightning flashed and Blood poured down the walls. Yuri, smiled at this... for he knew what was to come.  
"Huh?! Ba-gig-ree-flig-meh-jig?!?" said the Puzzled Irishman, the latter meaning simply "WTF"  
The Other Barflys scattered, while Valkarlov ran down into his personal basement-bunker... leaving only the Irish and Yuri there.  
Suddenly the door of the bar was flung open and a sleek metalic black hand tore it off it's hinges, proceeding to throw it at one of the Leprechauns, chopping him in half. "This is certainly another Hiya! Moment." said O.P.R.A.H, with a smile. "They don't call me the Operational Peacekeeping and Rational Assassination Humanoid for nothing! Cause though I was po' I could always assimilate the rich kids!" She then charged after the silly Irishmen with a yell, which shattered all of the walls.

Yuri smiled at this, while thousands of metal tentacles shot out from O.P.R.A.H's Random Weight Shift Drive. She then began to strangle the non-Leprechaun Irishman. "I've got a Secret for you! My tentacles can crush your silly potato-ridden skull! Heck, even one of my South African Assassin Spider Children could have beaten you!" She then brutally snapped his neck. The Leperchauns began to use Rainbow Magic against her, but she countered with ease. "How about some Televison Magic for you! Or better yet... Money!"

This caught the attention of the Leprechauns, who backed off and went over to see if she'd really give them money... But by then it was too late for those foolish little midgets. She swift kicked each of them in the crotch and then proceed to murder them with her New Age Propaganda and a Flamethrower.

Yuri looked over to her and smiled. "Thanks be to you, wife! But how is it that you f-found me?"  
"Obviously I had Gale following you all night, that and I placed a homing beacon under your flesh..." said the cold android.  
"Ah I see.." said the distrurbed and still drunken Yuri.  
"Lets get home... SUPERNATURAL IS ON!" yelled O.P.R.A.H, who then dragged the beaten dictator home...

Meanwhile, in a nearby Supermarket...  
"Ok... I got the Salsa, and the Cheese... and the Vodka... THATS EVERYTHING! AT LAST I CAN GO DEFEAT RAYUNOTTO!" yelled D-Broly, now finished his tasks. He began to walk out of the store when stopped by a security guardish type ghost. "Um, excuse me sir.. but I believe you didn't pay for that Salsa..."  
"And who the hell are you?" yelled D-Broly.  
"Why, I'm Banquo. You know Emperor of the Victorious yet Horrid Ghost-King Legions, Third in Command of the Victorious Soviet Empire, only behind Yuri by alittle bit... I'm moonlighting as a Victorious security guard until my unit is finished being retrained by Doc Strange and ready to make war." said well... Banquo.  
"Huh? Ghost army doesn't exist?!?" said a confused D-Broly. "Yuri say so!"  
"Oh right..." Banquo chuckled, he had forgotten nobody was supposed to know about that. "Right... Well I guess this means I'm gonna have to charge you with Shoplifting, Stealing State Secrets and Having a lack of Victoriocity..."  
"WHA?!?" yelled D-Broly. "Me only out to do shopping list..."

With that, Banquo knocked him over the head with a lamp, which was conviently placed nearby. Oddly enough, Banquo was strong enough to knock out D-Broly with one hit. D-Broly awoke to the sounds of Rosie O'Donnell singing Christmas tunes. He was obviously trapped in a white room with only a single door marked 101... Thus because of Rosie's true awfulness D-Broly confessed to whatever crime he had 'commited' swiftly, causing Banquo to enter soon after this with a smirk on his face. He then took led D-Broly out of the room and back into the Adjacent Supermarket...  
He then remembered he was finished the list and decided to buy a bottle of Unbefreakinglievable Fat Barley Wine for his troubles.

However once outside of the Supermarket and down the street a good distance, D-Broly realized something. "NO MILK! YURI KILL!" He gasped. He then ran back to the Market, only to find all the doors locked... Inside the White Room, Banquo was laughing histerically... that is until he heard a loud explosion... and the incomprehensible yell of... "MILKOTTO!"


End file.
